DISGRACEFULLY OLD:

They kiss my cheek & pat my hair of grey,

Saying they´ll visit me again one day,

Now they´re gone, this Nan´s out to play,

In red feathered hat, out the door I sashay.

My old man scats & I´ve got rid of the brats,

I´m off to boogie to the Boomtown Rats,

They think I´m rich but I´m a bitch,

Spending it all before I go, not leaving a stitch.

My step is light, not old heavy plods,

Off to the banker to withdraw my wads,

Sod the bugger & bugger the sods,

Ignoring the bespectacled, disapproving nods.

To the S.K.I club (spend kids inheritance) I belong, to annoy,

Spending it in gin clubs & the odd toy-boy,

I´m on a journey, a malicious ploy,

To use what´s left of my life & just enjoy.

With a wiggle & a waddle off to the beer-hall,

Never tried a joint before, but now I´ll try it all,

I´ll slap the hand of anyone trying to stop me fall,

I´m at the end of life & plan to have a ball.

They tell me to have a bath; they tell me that I smell,

With a sprinkling of lavender water, I send them all to hell,

How long I have left, no one can really tell,

To all the vultures disappointment, as I´m feeling rather well.

I used to get my knickers in a twisted little knot,

Now I don’t even wear them & I don´t give a jot,

To hell with the ex, kids, vicar, politicians, bankers &the whole bloody lot,

Dickie-bowed worms, be-suited, banal & idiotic clots.

My life´s well lived, I´ve proved to you,

Owing nowt to none, now leave me to do,

To bop & boogie to jazz, rap & blues,

And I shall leave you all to seethe & stew.

Tut all you want, but I have God´s good grace,

Farewell decency, don´t look me in the face,

I´ve given all I´ve got & now I leave that place,

I´m off to join the scallywags, the red-hats of disgrace.